Inappropriate
by OneMoreBite
Summary: It's 2 AM and Roy can't sleep, so he decides to pay Riza a little visit, with the intention of asking for help. But somehow, the entire thing didn't end the way he thought it would. Sure, it's inappropriate, but what fun isn't? Royai. Oneshot.


_**I don't write lemon**_

_--------------------------------------_

_Tick_

_Tock_

_Tick_

_Tock_

"Daaaaaaaaaaamn" Roy Mustang cursed under his breath, putting a pillow over his head. It was nearly 2 am and he still couldn't sleep, mostly because of that annoying wall clock. At least he thought so.

'Why couldn't I sleep, again?' Roy Mustang asked himself, remembering that he had perfectly good paperwork to be done tomorrow with a perfectly good Lieutenant who had a perfectly good gun.

'Ohhh' Roy yawned, suddenly remembering why he couldn't escape to his world of erotic dreams for even a second.

-------------------

A few hours back

------------------

"More coffee, sir?"

Roy looked up to see a tall, blonde waitress who had a face like an... well...

He really couldn't say, since he barely brought himself to look above her neck.

"Sure" he grinned, handing her the cup. "Although, can you make it a take - out? I need to get back to my job."

"Oh, too bad" The waitress shrugged. "Later on, the waitresses do a little show where they sing and dance. Plus, you get to talk to me all afternoon."

Roy had to think this through. A pile of paper to be read, signed and filed or a really hot blonde who's acting incredibly slutty, as if she ran into someone like Roy Mustang. Well, she did.

"Well, okay then. My Lieutenant can take care of things" He shrugged, grinning.

"Oh, but you can't stay unless you're ordering something" the waitress bit her lip, as if remembering something important.

"Then I can have coffee all afternoon." Roy shrugged.

"Great!" the blonde flashed a million - dollar smile, and left to get the refill, giving Roy a good view of her million - dollar ass, which was probably counterfeit.

---------------------------

_Tick_

_Tock_

_Tick_

_Tock_

"Dammit" Roy cursed under his breath. "Why, oh why?!"

As you can see, this is seriously hurting his attention span. Of course, he has a short attention span. Why do you think he keeps moving from one chick to another?

"Oh yeah..." again, it came back to him.

He had made a choice; It was either face an entire night of mental anguish, and then sleep off the next day at work thus getting shot (courtesy of Lieutenant Hawkeye) hence getting seriously injured _or_ he could see a hot blonde dance like a stripper.

The answer was obvious. He went for the latter.

_Tick _

_Tock_

_Tick_

_Tock_

_BOOM_

No, that was not a bomb.

Roy sighed as he pulled off his pyrotex gloves after incinerating the wall clock, somehow enjoying the sound of it bursting into flames. "Ah... that's better"

He gently lay his head on the pillow and closed his eyes, hoping to drift off to sleep.

_Rustle _

_Rustle_

_Rustle_

"What the hell?!" he growled, eyes still closed.

_Rustle _

_Rustle_

It was the rustling of the leaves outside, and apparently, Roy can't incinerate the entire park outside of his window.

"Argh!" he moaned, shutting his window close.

That was when he realized that he didn't have a window. A couple of months back, he had a fling with this hot - tempered feminist who knew how to play baseball. After screwing her for a night and not calling her back, she decided to have a little fun with her baseball stuff.

Roy frowned to himself. He was bored to death.

"Man" he yawned to himself. "If only I knew someone who had a solution to everything... someone who I possibly couldn't get bored of... Maybe someone with a dog, I like dogs..."

_Think_

_Think_

_Think_

_Think_

_Ding._

"I know someone!"

-----------------------------

Hawkeye yawned, stepping out of the bedroom. She had just taken a shower, and had just dressed into something more comfortable.

"Curse that Colonel" she muttered under her breath, rubbing her eye with one hand and pouring herself a mug of coffee with another. "Took off all afternoon and left me to do all the work. Tch. So much for 'I'll go out for a cup of coffee and fresh air.'"

She sighed, taking a sip from the mug. "He seriously needs to at least recognize some of his responsibilities."

Hayate barked in agreement.

"Go to sleep" Hawkeye told the canine, too stressed to deal with any barking.

Hayate fell asleep in agreement.

_Knock Knock_

"Who'd be knocking at this time?" she asked no one in particular, making her way to the door.

"Hello, Lieutenant" Roy greeted with a smile. "I brought flowers."

"Colonel, are you aware that it's 2 in the morning?" Hawkeye asked, gesturing for him to come in.

"That's why I brought flowers" he reasoned, setting them on the table.

"May I ask what you're doing here, Colonel?" Hawkeye asked.

"I thought that I'd need your help, so I --" Roy caught sight of how Hawkeye looked like and cleared his throat. "So I stopped by"

'Ohmahgawd' Roy gasped mentally.

He had never seen the Lieutenant out of her uniform. Ever.

He had never seen the Lieutenant with her hair down. Ever.

He had never seen the Lieutenant's shoulder blades. Ever.

Heck, he hadn't even seen her legs before. Not even an ankle. And now she was...

'Ohgawd, how do I make it through without hitting on her?!" Roy questioned himself mentally. 'Bloody dead rats. Bloody, dead, decomposing, maggot - infested rats that got run over by a bicycle. Oh look, it's the hot Lieutenant. Yum -_ mee._ Oh, crap!'

Now, the Lieutenant stood there before him, in unbelievably short shorts and a small tank top which she wears when she goes to bed.

Riza Hawkeye never believed in lingerie, so she just "cropped" her usual wear a great deal.

"Is anything the matter, Colonel?" she asked, pouring another mug of coffee.

"Uhm... no" he responded, sitting down.

"So, what did you need?" she asked, serving the coffee. "And Colonel, you're still drooling."

'Dang' Roy cursed mentally.

'Wait, She's not scolding me?' Roy thought to himself. 'It's 2 o' friggin clock. I was hoping that she'd pistolwhip me so hard I'd lose conciousness, or fall asleep.'

"Uh... I need to fall asleep" Roy confessed, feeling as if he was now sitting on a deathrow.

"Because you spent the entire afternoon drinking coffee and flirting with a blonde waitress in some coffee shop, telling her that your Lieutenant can just take care of things?" Hawkeye asked, looking quite stern.

"Uhm... now how did _you_ know _that_?" Roy asked, dumbfounded.

"Typical" Hawkeye answered, shrugging.

Roy gaped at Hawkeye some more.

She looked... quite... captivating, actually.

It wasn't the hair. It wasn't the tiny outfit. It was... something.

She wasn't his Lieutenant now. She was Riza. And man, was Riza hot.

She looked lovely against the moonlight. Her pale skin and blonde hair made her look like more feminine... like an angel that has ---

"Uh... Colonel?" Riza asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Y-yes?"

"You've been gaping at me for two minutes now without saying a word. I don't mean to be rude, but what the hell?"

"O- oh" Roy Mustang stammered. "S-sorry, Riza"

'Riza...' Hawkeye bit her lip. She wasn't used to him calling her by her name.

"Sir, if you can't go to sleep, I would suggest a tranquilizer" Hawkeye told him flatly. "I have some, if you would like one"

"So... large amounts of caffeine can still be countered with a sleeping pill?" Roy asked, watching Riza walk away to the bathroom.

She shrugged, pulling out a small bottle from the cabinet.

"You know..." Roy began, with a boyish smirk on his face. "You don't look so bad."

"Sir, I'd rather you not make any comments like such. Even though we are outside the office, It is still very much innapropriate" she responded, handing over the bottle.

"No..." he began, leaning back. "It's been quite a while since the last time I've seen you as Hawkeye, not as my Lieutenant."

"Sir, have you been drinking as well?" Riza asked, without any trace of emotion.

"How cold" Roy murmured.

"I never saw you as the kind of person who liked to say such things" Hawkeye answered, sitting straight.

"I say things like that all the time" Roy countered, making his statement sound as if he were whining.

Hawkeye shrugged. "The last time I've heard a statement like that would be about 15 years ago, sir."

"Oh gawd" Roy muttered. "I'm only 29, you make me sound so old."

Hawkeye smiled, leaning back a little.

"Hey," Roy grinned.

"What?"

"You just smiled." Roy was smiling, forgetting about the tranquilizers.

"Pardon me?" Hawkeye asked, a bit flustered.

"It doesn't look so bad" Roy shrugged. "I prefer you looking like that."

"Colonel, will you be on your way or shall I walk you home?" she asked, standing up.

"Walk me home?" Roy asked. "You're going to walk me home?"

"If it is neccessary, sir" she responded briefly.

"Hawkeye... don't you ever ask for anything in return?" Roy asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

"It's only my obligation, sir" she responded firmly, leading him to the door.

"Riza... you look quite dashing" Roy commented, before approaching the door.

"Sir, since I'm your subordinate, it would be, again, inappropriate to even say such." She responded flatly.

"No it's not. You wanna know what I call inappropriate?" he asked, grinning evily.

"S-sir, that won't be neccessary" Riza stammered.

But Roy was persistent with what he wanted. He took her wrists and pinned her against the wall.

"C-Colonel?" she stammered, gazing into his eyes.

"Not Colonel, Riza. Just Roy" he replied, ever so close to her.

"R-Roy..."

Roy pressed his lips against against hers and slipped his tongue inside her mouth, exploring it as if it were his own territory. Riza, being flustered at first, closed her eyes and returned the kiss. She cupped his jaw, bringing him closer. A tongue battle ensued.

Gasping for air, Riza pushed him away.

"R-roy.."

"It's good to hear you say it" he grinned.

"Yeah" Riza smiled, before feeling his lips on hers again.

This time, Roy pulled away.

"Riza?" Roy asked, still gazing at her.

"Yeah?" she asked, a little out of breath.

"How much time do we have left before we report to the Central Headquarters?"

"About four hours."

"Awesome."


End file.
